How do you transition from the initial enthusiasm for blogging into the more disciplined 'peeling of the onion' of your attitudes, writings and self? And when I write 'you', I mean 'me.' The long layoff has been part laziness and part busy-ness.
Book: Jenna Blum's Those Who Save Us [excellent, and plays right into my interest in the juxtaposition of different time periods playing off each other.]
Movie: Guillermo del Toro's 'Pan's Labyrinth'... [very good also, but an interesting combination with Blum's book, since both have the theme of women's accomodations to WWII Fascist males in order to save their daughters. Strange and unplanned coincidence...]
Vacation last week with S's family: excellent weather and too much food. I need to eat veggies for a month to recapture any kind of fitness and moderate cholesterol level. Badminton, pontoon boats, Uno, golf, parades, bonfires, reading, photography... good fun. Dread of getting back to the business of work. Squeezing this last weekend of vacation for every instant that it is worth. Purposely avoiding checking work e-mail. There will be time tomorrow, and if they really need me, they can call.
Borrowed an hour from God this morning - meaning I sat in a classroom down the hall from the Chapel writing rather than attending services. I just seemed to need the time to write and think. Among the activities were the jotting of all the details I can remember from the vacation, writing through my attitude toward habits and depressions (and depressants) as well as pondering the nature of self-discipline, service, calling, and mindfulness. How is it that excellent ideas and activities are eroded under the waves of habits and comfortable 'same-nesses' of daily life? How radically (root) do I need to dig in order to make changes? How much attention is necessary in this moment to see the potentials and the opportunities? How long does it take to make a new habit, really?
Finally, got the video invitation to a conference in honor of my graduate school advisor. As a non-academic, I would not think of presenting a paper, but I was thinking of attending. But my fear of inadequacy surfaces. Of his 40 advisees, how many of them are employed in education, and how many (like me) failed to get that job? Failed is the word that I keep coming back to. How do I let go of that part of my life, and be fully present in this one?
I have been berating myself for not digging in and getting personal in this blog. Perhaps I have crossed the line and swung too far the other direction. I will probably get back to book and movie reviews in the near future,... but I thought you should know where my head is (and where it has been during the long silence).
Thanks, and I will write again soon.
Book: Jenna Blum's Those Who Save Us [excellent, and plays right into my interest in the juxtaposition of different time periods playing off each other.]
Movie: Guillermo del Toro's 'Pan's Labyrinth'... [very good also, but an interesting combination with Blum's book, since both have the theme of women's accomodations to WWII Fascist males in order to save their daughters. Strange and unplanned coincidence...]
Vacation last week with S's family: excellent weather and too much food. I need to eat veggies for a month to recapture any kind of fitness and moderate cholesterol level. Badminton, pontoon boats, Uno, golf, parades, bonfires, reading, photography... good fun. Dread of getting back to the business of work. Squeezing this last weekend of vacation for every instant that it is worth. Purposely avoiding checking work e-mail. There will be time tomorrow, and if they really need me, they can call.
Borrowed an hour from God this morning - meaning I sat in a classroom down the hall from the Chapel writing rather than attending services. I just seemed to need the time to write and think. Among the activities were the jotting of all the details I can remember from the vacation, writing through my attitude toward habits and depressions (and depressants) as well as pondering the nature of self-discipline, service, calling, and mindfulness. How is it that excellent ideas and activities are eroded under the waves of habits and comfortable 'same-nesses' of daily life? How radically (root) do I need to dig in order to make changes? How much attention is necessary in this moment to see the potentials and the opportunities? How long does it take to make a new habit, really?
Finally, got the video invitation to a conference in honor of my graduate school advisor. As a non-academic, I would not think of presenting a paper, but I was thinking of attending. But my fear of inadequacy surfaces. Of his 40 advisees, how many of them are employed in education, and how many (like me) failed to get that job? Failed is the word that I keep coming back to. How do I let go of that part of my life, and be fully present in this one?
I have been berating myself for not digging in and getting personal in this blog. Perhaps I have crossed the line and swung too far the other direction. I will probably get back to book and movie reviews in the near future,... but I thought you should know where my head is (and where it has been during the long silence).
Thanks, and I will write again soon.
1 comment:
Dr. Rick!
Writing regularly is hard, getting that habit going. Looking forward to reading more soon.
Take care,
awiz
Post a Comment